Bonzo Goes Bitburg
by cutieflutie
Summary: The morning after the Harvest Festival, Ann goes to Leslie's house only to find a certain state auditor there. Ben/Leslie.


**A/N: Gersh, this is my first fanfic! :} I don't know if comedy is my thing, but oh well! And those headshots things are like the interviews, okie dokles!**

**Disclaimer: God, I wish I owned NBC.**

…**.**

"Thanks so much." Ann Perkins smiled warmly at the cashier at JJ's as she handed her the special- which Ann knew was Leslie's favorite. The smell wafted through her senses, and she could fully see how Leslie enjoyed waffles so much.

She looked at the camera and smiled softly as she picked up the large paper bag.

-HEADSHOT-

"So, Harvest Festival ended yesterday and in order to get Leslie out of the future depression funk that is sure to set in, I've gotten Leslie's favorite: Mega-Waffle supreme with about five cans of whipped cream." She smiled while shaking the bag next to her.

"Yeah, that's probably why I get so many obese patients at the hospital." She said, furrowing her brow.

-END HEADSHOT-

Ann pulled over the car and walked up to Leslie's porch. She was about to notice when she accidentally stepped on something hard that broke. She looked down to see one of Leslie's frog statuettes in pieces, like it was knocked over earlier. The pieces were scattered on the wood and Ann had just stepped on a particularly small piece, crushing it even further. She lifted her foot off of it quickly. "Hm, that's weird." She said to herself.

She knocked on the door with more force than usual a couple of times and waited for it to open. After about thirty seconds and no answering, she knocked again, this time a little concerned.

After still no answer, she jiggled the doorknob a couple of times and was surprised to find that the door was unlocked. Uncertainly, she looked back at the camera and shrugged.

She walked in, her chest kind of getting tighter as she stepped across the door mat. When she walked in the house, to say she was surprised would be the least of what she was feeling. She dropped her bag at the mess in the house.

Things were knocked over (even Leslie's framed picture of Nancy Pelosi!) and there were things on the floor (Leslie's homemade Pawnee flag) and there was what looked like to be a woman's shirt and a man's shirt in some sort of trail toward the bedroom, follow by a belt and a jacket. Ann made it over to the room uncertainly before going over to the bedroom door.

She took a deep breath, trying to brace herself before opening the door. After all, what if Leslie was hurt? Ann would need to make sure, wouldn't she?

She took the doorknob in her hand and opened the door. She opened the door quickly and the camera zoomed into Ann's face to take in her expression, when hers was a horrified one, the camera zoomed into the room to see what was happening.

There was Leslie sleeping in her bed, but judging by her bare shoulders and bare arms, she was nude under the bunches of blankets. And right next to her, probably equally as nude, with half of his face in his pillow and his light snore, was Ben Wyatt.

-HEADSHOT-

"Yeah, I always kinda suspected that he liked her and that she had a thing for him but I never pictured them . . . ugh!" she whispered loudly. "And now all I can think about is what they look like naked- which are not good qualities when you're best friends with one of them."

-END HEADSHOT-

…

"So, this lunch is nice." Leslie said awkwardly.

"Mmhm." Said Ann as she just smiled sweetly with her arms folded across her chest, jiggling her foot a little.

"That salad dressing looks really . . . brown." Leslie supplied.

"Yeah." Ann tilted her head to the side. "It does."

-HEADSHOT-

"Uh, yeah, I did have a nice weekend, why do you ask?" Leslie said uncomfortably. "I went and got my Nancy Pelosi picture reframed, the frame uh, broke off. Just some . . . weird accident. Some just totally weird accident that I don't even remember."

-NEXT HEADSHOT-

"Yeah, pretty non eventful weekend, just, you know, hangin' out. I watched some um, some Star Wars. The us-ual." Ben said awkwardly. "Why do you keep on laughing?"

-END HEADSHOT-

"So how was your weekend?" Ann asked, still smiling.

"God, why does everyone keep on asking that? It wasn't even a long weekend, just two days!" Leslie said defensively. She hit her thumb against the handle of the coffee cup to calm her nerves.

"Just curious."

"Well if you must know, I was actually under the weather so . . ." Leslie said without looking at Ann. Ann mentally shook her head at Leslie's inability to lie believably.

"Huh, that's funny because I went to your house Saturday morning and you didn't answer when I knocked on the door so," Ann noticed the slight twitch in Leslie's right eye. "Must've been some cold, huh?"

Leslie opened her mouth to say something, but only the slightest croak came out.

"Anyway, I noticed that Ben's still here, why is that?" Ann pressured, waiting for Leslie to just crack.

"Actually, he's staying. He is the new Parks and Recreation budgetary consultant, since we suck a lot at managing our money." Leslie said, now suddenly interested in the pattern of cream in her coffee and what design it was.

-HEADSHOT-

"Uh yeah, I am staying." Ben said with a little smile on his face. "Yeah, I just, I like Pawnee. A lot. And I . . . seriously man, what are you laughing at?"

-END HEADSHOT-

"So why do you think he's staying?" Ann questioned, watching Leslie squirm.

"I guess he just likes it here a lot." Leslie said, unaware that Tom was watching the conversation from the window.

-HEADSHOT-

"I think we all know the only reason Ben is staying," Tom said while rolling his eyes, "ME. I mean- I'm the first real friend that poor outsider's got. And besides, look at this face!" He pouted, "Would you be able to leave this face?"

-END HEADSHOT-

After another awkward minute of silence, Ann finally let out an exasperated sigh. "Listen Leslie, I know about what you did." Leslie looked up, surprised. "With Ben. You know, he's right; you aren't sneaky."

Leslie stared at her for a moment before bursting into laughter. She covered her face and spoke through her hands. "Oh God, I'm such a bad liar." She said, chuckling at her lack of being able to deceit.

Ann smiled, laughing now, too. "Yeah. You are."

Leslie recovered, wiping a tear from her eye. "How did you even find out? Did I just walk into the office and did I just scream, 'I slept with an auditor!' because I remember you looking like that-"

"No Leslie, actually I- wait a second, you could tell the second I got in?"

"Ah, no! What? Who said that? Because it wasn't me!"

Ann gaped, "Was it really that easy to tell?"

"Well," Leslie sighed. "Yeah, pretty much. You were glowing so blight you could blind us all. The whole office could tell."

"Oh God- that's humiliating."

"How _did _you find out about the fact that me and Ben . . . you know . . ." Leslie trailed off uncomfortably.

"I uh, I went to your house to bring you waffles and the door was unlocked so I went in and, well, you can guess what happened next."

Leslie looked mollified. "Oh gosh you walked in on us and- oh! But isn't he so cute when he's sleeping? Oh never mind, don't answer that."

"So, what are you guys now?" Ann asked, intrigued.

"Well, I woke up and he was there, which is always a plus, and I asked him if he wanted to stay here, and he had already said it last night, but he was drunk then."

"He was _drunk?_"

"Well, we both kinda were, but he said he really wanted to stay and he really liked me. So, I guess we're together. Only it has to be a secret- I can't date fellow employees."

Ann raised her eyebrows, "Are you good with that?"

"Oh yeah, of course."

Ann was about to ask another question when Ben came outside and interrupted her. "Um Leslie, I have some files that need Ron's authorization signature and he's locked himself in his office." Leslie smiled and shook her head.

"It's okay Ben, you don't have to make up excuses, Ann knows! She walked in on us in the morning, its okay!"

"Well, Ron has actually locked hi- wait what?" Ben's face turned beet red as he processed the news.

Ann just gave a crooked smile and shrugged.

"Um, you know what? I think I'll just go and try to uh- ram the door and uh," Ben crashed into the door on his way inside, "Oh, shoot. Um, bye."

-HEADSHOT-

Ben groaned through his hands. "Seriously man, it's not funny!"

-END HEADSHOT-

**A/N: Oh gosh dernit. That was a complete and utter fail, wasn't it? It sounded and looked way better in my head, but oh well. If you like it (somehow) please review! I would love it!**


End file.
